Reflections on a Year without Instagram

I’ve been experiencing a gnawing uneasiness about social media in recent years, as evidenced by my recent Christmas Eve rant (which absolutely no one asked for) about my intense dislike of Mark Zuckerberg.

A couple of years ago I couldn’t even put these feelings into words. I just knew that something felt off. And then the pandemic hit, and it felt like social media was the only way to stay in touch, Still, I wanted out. So a few months into 2020, I deleted Instagram and Facebook off of my phone. I thought a month-long break sounded intense but was up for trying it.

Almost two years later, my social media use is still pretty sparse. I stepped away with only a feeling, no plan, no reason I could explain to others. I just knew that my life was filled with noise, and I needed an escape.

Here’s what I found…

It Was Easier Than I Thought It Would Be

I thought this would be a cute goal but not exactly attainable. I was shocked at how quickly I got out of the habit of reaching for my phone after just a few days of my ban. This told me that I was on the right track, and this was the right goal for me.

It felt weird at first, like all of my family and friends were at the same party, and I was sitting at home. I thought I would fall behind in everyone’s lives and miss big announcements. I didn’t. Or if I did, I still don’t know about it, and I’m okay with that.

It Takes Away My Inner Knowing

This might have been the hardest realization from my experiment. I am somewhat horrified by how influenced I am by others. After a few days of silence from social media, I realized that I hadn’t heard my own voice in a long time. It was just so easy to read the words of people I admired and adopt their values and beliefs.

I saw this as looking for inspiration but it went way beyond that. And the thing is, I had no idea this was happening. There is no way I could have understood what a problem this was in my life without a complete break.

I don’t know what I think when I flood my feed with influencers. Now that I am tiptoeing back into this space, I am constantly on the lookout for times when I abandon myself and adopt the views of others.

It Affects My Spending Habits

My Instagram use and my spending habits track together always and forever. The more time I look at social media, the more money I spend. Period. Budgeting doesn’t matter. Will power doesn’t matter. If I want to scroll Instagram, it will eventually lead to more spending.

I’ve gotten to the point where I have accepted this fact and just restrict my social media time. There are thousands of experts working to make sure that we spend more time and money on the platforms, so I try not to beat myself up about it. I’m human. They’re experts at this. I accept it and do my best.

Intention Matters

I tend to have two frames of mind when I reach for my phone. I’m either looking to catch up with a few of my favorite authors and teachers OR I’m stressed and looking to numb out. Either frame of mind is okay but knowing where I’m at helps me to use social media without feeling depleted by it.

I could read the same post from an author I admire and have very different reactions. When I’m coming from a secure place, I could let that inspiration carry me for the entire day. If I’m coming from a stressed place and I’m not aware of it, those words could crush me because they’re so beautiful and I will never write like that and I should just give up now.

Now when I pull up Instagram, I try to catch myself and do a quick check-in. If I’ve had a long day with the kids and just need a minute to numb out, that’s great. I will look at beautiful home decor or recipes or something like that. I’ll try to be kind to myself when I start comparing and judging.

Intention matters.

There Are No Rules

I once heard Leo Babauta of Zen Habits describe social media as a river. Feel free to jump in and enjoy it for a short time but don’t feel the need to swim upstream and catch up on everything you’ve missed. You’ll never get there.

There are no rules when it comes to how you’re supposed to use social media. You don’t have to read every caption. You don’t have to watch every story. Jump in, enjoy it for a bit, then dry off and move on with your day.

There are Meaningful Connections

When I signed off of Instagram in 2020, I thought that it was a vice in my life with only downsides. It was like a guilty pleasure that I knew was dragging me down. And yes, it was important for me to sign off to rediscover my own thoughts, values, opinions, but it wasn’t all bad either.

I found that I genuinely missed the connections I had made there. There’s something beautiful about going through life together and documenting it along the way.

I am still wary of social media, especially as my kids get older and will eventually experience it themselves. But it brought me a lot of peace to see that there was still a small part of it that fits back into my life.

I need to know - have you ever taken an intentional social media break? Have you been considering one? What’s holding you back?