Self Love, Pink Eye, and Starting Over

I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I sobbed to my husband.

 

I’ve been in a weird place in my business lately. Some clients have fallen through, others have changed, and I’ve found myself working and pushing harder than ever before, yet making less money.

 

It is such an incredibly stressful and frustrating place to be. Working every free moment of every day while watching my income go down. An unbiased outsider may look at my situation and see it clearly. Of course I just need to change it up. What I’m doing isn’t working, so I have to get creative.

 

But it’s different when you’re in it. When you’re using strategies that worked in the past, and you know that if you work just a little bit harder, you’ll get there.

 

Here’s what is NOT working:

  • Staying with the same low to mid paying clients, because the work is steady

  • Ignoring the fact that some of my more profitable clients have left

  • Working late every night and leaving no time for anything else

 

How do I know it’s not working? Well the declining income and rising stress should have tipped me off, but it took an illness that wiped me out for a week in order for me to finally give myself permission to slow down.

 

After battling a cold last week, I finally gave in and went to the doctor. I was naturally using my favorite strategy to beat it - just push harder. After going to the doctor, I learned that I had a sinus infection, ear infection, and pink eye in both eyes!

 

I had also lost all of my energy. After taking a few days to rest and recover, I started to take a hard look at my life. What was I creating? I had created this career where I truly cannot take one day off or I’ll be behind. I made myself sick with stress and work. I missed chaperoning the pumpkin patch field trip, because I was too sick to help out and do what I love.

 

Here’s the truth. Working from home is amazing, but it’s not the ultimate goal. I am here on earth for a purpose, and that purpose is NOT to overwork myself with writing clients. You are here with a divine purpose, and it is NOT to push and push until you can’t stand up.

 

Your purpose is bigger than you and me, and it’s up to us to bring it to life. So here are just some of the changes that I am making:

  • No work on Mondays

  • After dinner, you will find me relaxing with Tim, instead of hunched over my laptop

  • Reading a fiction book for fun

 

These are small changes, but they add up. Because I can’t live out my purpose when I’m sick and burnt out. And you can’t find and live your purpose when you’re stuck in the day-to-day hustle.

 

Here’s the tough lesson I learned this month. The hustle is overrated. Life is supposed to be slow and savored, not pushed to the brink everyday. Here’s to slow, meaningful conversations, meals, and time with family.

 

Where have you been pushing too hard? What tiny change could you make today to slow down? I’ll be right there with you!

Carrie Madormo