5 Confessions from Maternity Leave
If I’m gonna tell it, then I gotta tell it all…
These are my confessions.
Today I’m channeling my inner Usher and sharing some serious confessions from maternity leave. I’ve had a lot of thoughts swirling around my brain these last few weeks, many of which I felt like I couldn’t share.
If you’re like me, you spend so much of your time as a mom wondering if you’re doing it right, feeling guilty for not loving every second, and trying to determine if your three year-old’s tantrums are normal or the first warning sign of a serious psychiatric disorder.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my third maternity leave, it’s that too much alone time isn’t good for us. Sure we all need time to ourselves, but when you’re going days to weeks without connecting with fellow moms who get it, you’re in trouble.
So if you’ve found yourself in that place where you’ve been doing too much scrolling and comparing, know that you’re not alone. We’re all going through our own stuff, so grab a cup of tea and let’s get into it. I’ll go first…
I would do horrible, unforgivable things for a full night’s sleep. HORRIBLE things.
I spent the first few weeks of Alice’s life either ecstatically happy or concerned I had postpartum depression. Like seriously, there was no in between. All. the. tears.
I kind of hate eating with our kids. That one feels bad to say (type) out loud, but I do. I love the idea of family dinners, and I love hearing about everyone’s days, but sitting down with a six year-old, three year-old, and seven week-old is not exactly conducive to savoring your food or even having the luxury of eating it sitting down. And I hate it - there I said it.
Alice completed our family, but I can’t think about the fact that we may never have a newborn again. Have you been there? After 9 months of morning sickness and a failed epidural, I’m out on having more kids. Our family feels complete, and I’m so grateful to be a family of five. But that doesn’t mean that I’m ready to give away the newborn clothes anytime soon. And every time my husband eyes the boxes of boy clothes and tries to give them away, cue those tears again.
I missed working. Here’s something I’ve never said before… is maternity leave over yet?? Once I made it through the fog of the first few weeks, I found myself itching to get back to writing and having a routine again. I beat myself up about that, because I was supposed to be totally focused on my family. However, once I gave myself permission to just do a little work when I felt like it, I came back a much better mom and wife.
(If you’re wondering how anyone could ever want maternity leave to be over, check out my blog post about how to make the transition back to work easier)